Long needed update

Hey everyone!  It has been WAY too long since I have updated my blog, shame on me!  So much has happened in 2012, it's been a blur!

Ryan turned 2 in March and has the attitude to match it! :)  He loves to watch Bubble Guppies, the Wiggles and Cars.  He can count to 14, recognize numbers 1-9 and knows some of his letters!  Just so I can remember he says Buzz Lightyear like "Baa-ito!"

Brandon will be 4 in August and that is so hard to believe!  It seems like only yesterday we saw the first glimpse of our cute little baby and now he is SO big!  He had his last day of 3/4 preschool back in May.  He will go to 4/5 preschool starting in September!   He is a very fast runner & high jumper and loves to read books and watch Imagination Movers and Fresh Beat Band!

Patrick and I are doing well.  We had a whirlwind April and May with a lot of travel.  We all went back to PA to visit my family for a week and the boys and I stayed an extra week while Patrick came back to work.  We had a great time with family and then got to enjoy my mom for 2 more weeks since she flew home with me and the boys!  We went with Patrick to a conference in Minneapolis and then just enjoyed some downtime.

Patrick was the keynote speaker at a college conference at Mo Ranch in Texas so he was gone for 5 days and came home with a crazy bug bite on his leg!  Ewww! Patrick and Brandon took a long road trip to Kentucky for Patrick's annual family reunion in Salem, KY!  Ryan traveled so poorly on our previous trip that we decided he and I would just stay home.

And last, but certainly not least, Patrick and I are excited to announce that we will be having a baby girl in August!  

I am due August 29th which just happens to be the exact same day I was due with Maddie.  This is my 5th pregnancy, the 3rd time with a baby girl and I have cannot even tell you how hard it has been to not worry about all the "what-ifs" given our track record.  So far everything seems to be going well, I have been feeling as good as a pregnant mommy with 2 active little boys can feel!  I haven't "seen" her since April 27th at about 22weeks so my OB will be doing another ultrasound at my next appointment at 33 weeks.  They have been so great dealing with me as I have needed a lot of reassurance during this pregnancy.

Baby girl doesn't have a name yet but I am hoping to narrow it down to 2 or 3 in the next few weeks.  I have started nesting although, given what happened before, I never like to get too much out.  I am 29 weeks today and my c-section has been scheduled for 39 weeks exactly so we only have 70 days to go!

So, that is our 2012 so far in a nutshell!   Thanks for continuing to check in with us, I know I am not the most consistent blogger!

23 Adult Truths

These made me laugh out loud so I thought I would share:

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How on earth are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Guest post

I just want to start with a huge thanks to Bonnie for letting me guest post on her blog. My name is Jen and I am the author of In God's Time...Not Mine.

I wanted to take a few minutes to talk about a topic that is often considered taboo: pregnancy and infant loss. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month; October 15th is actually Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Here are some sobering statistics...
Every year in the United States:
* Approximately 2 million women will experience the loss of a pregnancy
* 154,051 children are born with birth defects
* 27,864 children will die before their first birthday

I unfortunately know these statistics all too well...

My story starts with my first pregnancy. My baby girl was born in August 2006. Her name was Madelyn Rose and she was born full-term after a very long labor that resulted in a c-section. Everything went from happy to absolutely devastating the moment she was born. She had very serious birth defects that were the result of a genetic condition called Pfeiffer Syndrome Type II. She was whisked away to the NICU while I was being sewn up. About 3 hours after her birth and a very negative CAT scan of her brain (she had very little brain tissue), my husband and I made the hardest decision of our lives and removed her from the ventilator. We took her back to our room and held her until she passed away the next morning.

It was a very hard recovery process both mentally and physically and a year later we found out that we were expecting another little one. Around 7 weeks I started spotting and went into my doctor's office "just to be safe". I had an ultrasound and there was no baby, just a mass of cells. The wind was knocked out of me and time just blurred together as we started talking about mutant cells, cancer and a D&C. I had my D&C on my husband's 29th birthday and waited anxiously for the results. They came back in a couple weeks as a Partial Molar Pregnancy where 2 sperm fertilized one egg at the exact same time. It results in 3 sets of genetic material, which is why the cells went crazy. I had to monitor my levels until they went to zero and then we had to wait 6 months from then to try to get pregnant again.

We started trying again for a few months but weren't able to get pregnant and it was starting to take its toll on me. There wasn't anything wrong with either of us and we were still within the normal time frame for the "average" couple to get pregnant but it was so overwhelming. We started to feel God's call to adopt. We both always knew that we would adopt, we knew before we got married that adoption would be part of our family plan. What we didn't know was the timing of when we would adopt. We thought it would be after we had our biological children, but God had other plans.

In September 2009 we submitted our application to adopt a baby from South Korea. We were open to some minor medical conditions and only 6 months later we saw our handsome son's picture for the first time. B was perfectly healthy but had just recently healed from a broken arm so he was considered to have a special need. We just knew he was our son and, after waiting the obligatory 24 hours, we excitedly accepted the referral.

The next few months were filled with a lot of preparation and paperwork and by early July 2009 we knew we were getting close! Early July was also the time where I started to feel a little off. I wasn't sure what was going on so I took a few pregnancy tests and they came back negative. I was a little late but we were trying to NOT get pregnant per the adoption agencies guidelines. The morning of July 9th I awoke early and couldn't get back to sleep. I slipped quietly out of the bedroom and took another pregnancy test. I kind of knew something was going on but was COMPLETELY shocked to see a faint 2nd line. I wish I could say I was overjoyed but my first reaction was fear.

We weren't supposed to get pregnant while in process and our son wasn't home yet; I was worried they wouldn't let us adopt him. I ran downstairs and called my mom in tears. She was overjoyed and I remember telling her that I suspected we would get our long awaited travel call that day. I woke my husband up at that point and told him our news. He was still home at 9:30am when our phone rang and it was our social worker telling us our son would be escorted home to us in 3 days!

B came home on July 10th and our son, Ry, was born March 8th. They are a little over 18 months apart but arrived into our family only 8 months apart. It has been a wonderfully busy time and I wouldn't trade it for the world. My two little boys are my world and I love them both so much. For those who may be curious, I feel exactly the same about both boys regardless of how they became mine!

When Ry was about a year old we decided to start trying to have another baby. I found out I was pregnant in July and immediately went to my OB to monitor my blood levels. They were good for a week and then just slowed down. I went in for an ultrasound and prayed for the best. It was almost surreal being back in that same room where we received the bad news about the molar pregnancy. The u/s tech started the exam and knew right away that something wasn't right. I should have been 6 weeks along and all she could see was an empty sac measuring 5 weeks, 2 days. Hoping for the best but honestly expecting the worst, I went home and waited.

Four long days went by before I went back in for another ultrasound. It feels like I sat in that waiting room for 2 hours but it was probably only 5 minutes. Finally got called back, gowned up and laid down. Anxiously waiting for the results, praying repeatedly "Please God, please just let everything be ok. Please perform a miracle; please let my baby be ok!"

It wasn't. Nothing had changed and my D&C was scheduled for the next day. In my heart I just knew that the baby was a girl and my doctor confirmed that at my follow up appointment. She was healthy, genetically speaking, so I will never know why I lost her.

Even today, my heart hurts for my 3 precious lost treasures: my precious Madelyn Rose, for the pregnancy that never was and for the baby girl who will never get to be born or grow up. When we started this journey to parenthood, I never realized how hard it would be. I knew women had miscarriages but I just didn't think it would happen to me.

I have lost 3 babies but I cannot wallow in the past. I am choosing, instead, to focus on the future and on the family I have. If I never have any more children, I will be happy with my two boys. That being said, I do hope/pray that God will bless us again with a healthy pregnancy and baby. I also hope that God will bring us another little one through adoption as well.

My plan sounds good but, as I have learned, it isn't up to me! It's all in God's Time...Not Mine!

Lots of updates

July 10th was a big anniversary for our family, Brandon has been home with us for 2 years! He loves singing and dancing and he has started making up stories, his imagination is just amazing. He will turn 3 tomorrow and we had his birthday party last night. He was a bit overwhelmed by all the attention but enjoyed his presents and playing with his friends. I also just signed him up for gymnastics and he starts preschool 2 times per week in September.

July 10 was also a big deal because it was the day I found out I was pregnant (#4)! Shocked but excited at the same time as we had just started trying. Because of my past pregnancy history I started going to get my levels checked right away. Things started off really well but, 2 weeks in, they sort of stopped. I went in for an ultrasound and they could only see an empty sac measuring 5 weeks 2 days but I should have been almost 6 weeks. So, we waited a few days and repeated the u/s but nothing had changed. We were devastated again and I was/am so mad that I have been pregnant 4 times but have only given birth to one healthy baby. The next day I had a D&C (again) and 2 weeks later we found out that, based on the chromosomal analysis, we were pregnant with a baby girl. Yes, I needed to know but I think I knew even before they told us the news. So, now I have 2 baby girls in heaven. Will I ever get to parent one here? No one knows the answer to that but I have to wonder. So, now we wait at least 2 months and then we can start trying. I am really trying to adjust my attitude and just focus on the future, no looking back. It works, most of the time. I have 2 healthy wonderful boys that need my attention, love and care here so I cannot wallow in "what ifs".

And, as most of my readers know, August is a another month of big anniversaries. My baby girl would have turned 5 on August 9th. I cannot believe that it has been 5 years. She would have been starting kindergarten tomorrow so that is really hard for me. I miss her terribly and think about her every day. August 10th was also the 5th anniversary of her passing which is always a hard day that was a little harder this year because Patrick was away at a conference in Florida.

On the baby note, I am now the proud aunt of a super handsome baby boy! My sister gave birth to my first nephew August 11th. Teagan James came into this world very dramatically but he and my sister are doing well now! I head home in 6 days with Mr Ryan to meet him and I cannot wait to snuggle him!

I will post more about B's 3rd birthday in a separate post! Look for that coming soon! I promise.

It's been a while, sorry!

Wow, it's been a while since I have posted an update on the kids. Sorry, I really need to make more time to document their childhoods, they are growing up so fast!

Brandon is almost 3 (in August) and is so smart, funny, polite and helpful (most of the time)! We are currently trying to potty train him but that's isn't going so well.

Ryan is 15 months old and has really started to talk! He HATES to be told "No" and LOVES to be outside.

Here is a recent video I captured of Brandon "reading" one of his favorite books, "5 Little Monkeys"! Enjoy!

I promise I will be better at updating my blog but, for now, I leave you with the pictures and video and I am going to bed. I need to get some rest before my Curves boot camp at 6am!

The ABC's of me!

I am totally stealing this from my blog friend, Jenny!

A. Age: 34 (35 in 12 days)

B. Bed size: Queen

C. Chore you dislike: Emptying the dishwasher, folding clothes

D. Dogs: Not really a dog person

E. Essential start to your day: I get up so early now because my son is a very early morning person. I guess I would have to say my essentials are my comfy couch, the Today show and a good cup of coffee

F. Favorite color: Red

G. Gold or silver: Silver

H. Height: 5'4

I. Instruments you play(ed): Piano

J. Job title: Mom

K. Kids: 1 baby girl in heaven and 2 little boys here with me

L. Live: Nebraska

M. Mom’s name: Florence

N. Nicknames: Jen, Rosen, honey, mommy

O. Overnight hospital stays: Had eye surgery when I was 2.5 and have had 2 c-sections

P. Pet peeves: Clothes/things smelling like cigarette smoke, mean people

Q. Quote from a movie: Because I can't think of another one..."Lieutenant Dan, ice cream!"

R. Righty or lefty: Right

S. Siblings: 1 sister, 2 years younger

T. Time you wake up: Whenever Ry does

U. Underwear: Yes

V. Vegetables you don’t like: Not a huge fan of peas, hate mushrooms, greens, lima beans

W.What makes you run late: My kids

X. X-rays you’ve had: Dental, wrist, back, knee, ankle, foot, HSG

Y. Yummy food you make: Homemade lasagna, sauce and spaghetti noodles (oh and triple chocolate brownies)

Z. Zoo animal favorites: Penguins

Please pray for an old friend of mine

I have a friend from high school who desperately needs our prayers. K was pregnant with twin girls and not due until April 1st but had to deliver the girls early due to a very bad infection. After the twins were born healthy, K was diagnosed with influenza A which had infected her heart. She had to be transferred to a different hospital and is now on an ECMO machine that is working for her heart and lungs.

Would you please pray for complete healing for her heart and lungs? In addition to the twins just born, K and her husband also have 2 little girls at home. Would you please pray for K's family, especially her husband and the girls?

Thank you so much,
Jen

ps- Would you please pass along this prayer request if you have a prayer chain or something similar? She needs a lot of prayers right now.